Your Smile
by smiles1777
Summary: Gamma/Uni. Uni POV. He is your every thought and emotion buried deep inside of you. Spoilers for chapter 279.


**Warnings:** Spoilers for Chapter 279

**Summary:** Uni POV. He is your every thought and emotion buried deep inside of you.

**Author's Note:** Written for khrfest at LJ. Prompt was Gamma/Uni - yesterday; "starved for love". The scene breaks are lyrics from Tohoshinki's song _Bolero_. Beta'd by the awesome and fabulous alcyonev at LJ. Thank you darling. Dedicated to mochalatt3 at LJ. She wanted more Gamma/Uni fic in fandom.

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**Your Smile**

_i. eternally_

You know this is a love you cannot have. He will die for you, but he lives only for yesterday.

_ii. i will continue shining on you_

You smile the first time you see him, tall and angry, tears forming in his eyes. His whole body shakes, his hands clutch and you wonder at the control he holds, not because it is successful, but because you feel it could break at any moment. His emotions are boiling just below the surface, and you somehow know that if you touched him you would feel the heat of them burn into your hand.

He is angry at you. Angry that you will not cry with him, angry that you're here and she is not. You are not phased by it, you will not be phased by it. You are no longer allowed to feel fear or pain or sadness, but your heart doesn't realize that yet. It is of no consequence since your head knows it very well. You are a boss now, _their_ boss, and you will do anything to bring them peace and happiness. The reality of it settles heavily on your shoulders, like the weight of tears in your sleeve that tries to force your arm down.

You smile at him, hoping to give him some glimpse of your mother, hoping to magically create a world of happiness.

He kneels before you and promises to protect your life with his own. You ignore the fear in your blood at the responsibility you now hold. Your head knows, but your heart is playing catch-up.

_iii. watching over attentively_

You often wonder if this is how your mother felt. Admired and respected, put up at the status of a deity. You can do no wrong; everything you say is just and correct. High on your pedestal, you breathe in the thin air, frigid and not nearly substantial enough to maintain you. You wonder what it would feel like for the warmth of arms wrapped around you in a hug.

You gaze at him, watching his devotion and feeling it shatter your hopes. You are starved for love, but all you ever have is thin, frigid air.

_iv. for your admired future_

You are his princess, he will follow you to the depths of hell, but his heart is still there, still yearning for yesterday and smiles that came naturally and the spark in your eyes that you never were sure was yours to begin with.

_v. wherever you go_

You hugged him and breathed your hopes and dreams and thoughts into his ear, only _his_ ear. You whispered the last selfish desires your body held before you walked into Byakuran's trap. You dragged them all into hell with a smile on your lips and blush tinting your cheeks.

Your arms still feel the warmth from his neck. Your hands still feel the rigid contours of his back. You gave him up wholly and completely, gave up love and decided to live on air. Your head knows this.

He kneels before you and vows there will be a time when your family will be _yours_ again, not connected to white-darkness and Byakuran.

Your heart is still playing catch-up.

_vi. i continue to hope_

He is your every thought and emotion that you're not allowed to have. You store them up inside, resting heavily in your ribs, collected and gathered from every inch of your body until your lungs constrict with the pressure. You send them out into the night like a used lover, whisper them softly into the ground where they seep through the grass, slipping past rocks and roots and all manner of substance that would keep them in your memory. They burrow so deeply into the earth that you forget their existence, and you are busy collecting more emotions you are not allowed to feel, until he clutches his hand at his side in an effort to restrain those emotions that leak out of his every breath. His whole body is an echo of those warm and ugly and selfish and happy thoughts. Your heart seizes in remembrance.

_vii. i will protect you_

Fear drags you down, breaks your resolve. Your famed control, that restraint to keep back every emotion is gone, evaporated. You are left shaking and shivering. Your hands are ice. You are scared of death, so scared. This is your destiny, only you can bring them back, the Arcobalenos.

But your resolve is gone.

Until he smiles at you, kind and gentle. His eyes are soft, softer than you've ever seen them before. You feel the warmth of his feelings wrap around you mere seconds before the physical reassurance of his arms and his heart, hugging you close in a way you had given up on. He whispers into your ear, only _your_ ear, everything you wanted and wished for and dreamed about, but buried deep under the surface of the earth.

Tears stream down your cheeks, but your smile comes straight from the depths of your heart.

fin


End file.
